When we can create realistic expectations for ourselves and our families that align with our personal values, amazing things can happen. We can feel successful in our roles. We can meet our own needs, like finding time for a regular shower, a coffee date with a friend or a moment of quiet to ourselves. The resentment between family members can dissipate. We can actually have the internal space and energy to do all those parenting things we want to do. We may even feel like more than “mom”—you know, like a real, whole person with different facets to our being. 

Whether you have a packed schedule or a more low-key approach to summer, it’s easy for parents to focus all summer intentions on their kids. What will make their summer one to remember?! Let’s take a step back, though. As the one coordinating all of the pieces of the summertime puzzle, think about what you want this summer.

What I do want to talk about is the “what” and the “how.” Once you’ve made the decision that you are worth it and that your brain and body do in fact need some care in order to keep yourself well-regulated, it can be so hard to know where to start. We are told to take deep breaths, eat healthy foods (what does that even mean?!), exercise an hour a day, and get 8 hours of sleep each night. For most of us, it feels like a recipe for personal failure. What’s helpful to remember is that self-care doesn’t have to be about huge lifestyle overhauls or a full day at the spa (although that sounds lovely). Self-care happens when you integrate small, intentional habits into your daily routine (before you hit a wall). Self-care isn’t about asking for permission to do something for yourself, it is identifying what your needs are and meeting them, just like you do for everyone else in your family.

But for many busy moms, mindfulness can feel like just one more thing on the never-ending to-do list. Let’s be honest—some days it’s a miracle if we get to pee in peace, take a five-minute shower, or eat sitting down. The idea of carving out time for a “formal mindfulness practice” might feel laughably impossible—or like setting ourselves up to fail.

Enter: The Mindfulness Attitude